Do you have family nearby?

Do you have any family nearby? That's the number one question I have been asked. There's seems to be an unspoken rule that you are not supposed to move away that stands behind every follow-up question when you tell people you're moving across the country. It's not normal to move so far away.


Human history has long favored staying close to home, with only a few exceptions of those who explored the world. It's funny how we praise and honor those that leave home to wander while the majority never go far from the familiar landscape of our upbringing. I remember reading an article talking about some remote area in England where researchers did a DNA study on the local populace, and they had found out that no one ever moved far from home for some thousand years. It makes sense, right? Why leave the tribe and risk getting lost, robbed, or killed? Why leave the established community and start over? Even the nomadic cultures never went far from home! They just moved the community with them. Protection is the name of the game when it comes to community, and why would you be so reckless as to leave! 


One of the significant tensions of our human experience is that we both love and hate staying home, and we both crave and fear leaving home. We leave town for college and return home after graduation, or if we leave town, we often move back home when it's time to start a family. Even if we move away and while we're away we suffer disappointment, failure, or tragedy, we return home to recover. 


Global mobility is a modern phenomenon, and I could argue that it's not natural. There is a quiet resistance to the notion that we can live where we want, go where we want, and live in a global society where everyone desires to be seen as the next greatest explorers.  


No, we don't. That's the short answer to the question. No family and the closest friends that we know live an hour away. We have jobs, and we have a church home.

 

Can that be enough to build a community from square one? 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Drunk Vikings, Blogs, and the Pursuit of True Words

  I collect facts.   It has been my practice to gather as many facts as possible around me.   As a young fella who only had dial-up internet at the time meant that most of the facts came from books—the "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader" book series.   The books did contain stories and articles about history, but what they were known for was thousands of facts just piled in a book without context.   Pages of "did you know that..." followed by a bit of information that I would memorize but could never guarantee that I would even use.   I know it said "bathroom reader," but I would cheat and read it in bed before going to sleep. One fact in particular that lives rent-free in my head has to do with the style of government in Iceland, circa the dark ages - medieval era, and it went something like this.   Did you know that the ruling council in Iceland would have two meetings to discuss significant issues, once while they were all drunk and after they sobered up...
Read more

Seven Seconds to Survive

  I want to talk about cliques. As a youth pastor, I deal with them regularly, but cliques are not unique to students. Cliques show up in adult spaces just as frequently, and if we're talking about building community in new spaces, it would be worth our time to talk about it.    Let us start at the brain. Your brain has an unconscious prioritization system that is active during the thousands of choices you make every moment of every day.  And it goes like this... Will I survive? Am I Safe? What will give me the greatest satisfaction? (Either by increasing pleasure or decreasing pain) That second question, "Am I Safe," is where cliques live. Cliques are, first and foremost, a tool of safety; I hang out with these people because they protect me from getting killed and eaten by other people.   This group is my tribe because I feel safe with them. Cliques equal tribes. Do you remember back in the day when we used to build walls around our cities to keep us safe...
Read more